Fellatio and fruit bats: sexual harassment vs. academic freedom

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When is sexual harassment not sexual harassment? When it pertains to the rights of an academic to discuss the sex life of fruit bats with a colleague. Add a cry for understanding, a wail of academic censorship and a quick online petition and the academic community is up in metaphorical arms.

This is the tale of Dylan Evans and his online fight to prove himself innocent of sexual harassment and to place himself as the victim of a politically correct university regime determined to undermine his academic freedom. In a presumably desperate act, he transmitted his story to the HuffingtonPost who obligingly printed his point of view, started a petition about his academic persecution and began to stir up what was to become #fruitbatgate.

His fight was undermined, however, by his publication of the relevant correspondence allowing all denizens of the internet to judge for themselves, and more recently by his lack of respect for the confidentiality of the disciplinary proceedings. In fact, it has all blown up in his face.

The online affair began as a simple claim that Evans’ academic freedom was being limited because he was unable to discuss the sex life of fruit bats with a colleague without being accused of sexual harassment. Plenty of academics all over the world enthusiastically signed the petition, probably without reading the details. As Evans’ said

If we cannot discuss scientific articles about topics directly related to our own research, published in leading peer-reviewed international journals with colleagues in the same department, this bodes very ill for informed inquiry and debate.

What Evans fails to add is that he is an evolutionary psychologist and the woman he harassed is an expert nutritionist. Fellatio in fruit bats would not seem to be a topic directly related to the research of either party.

Evans seems to have a couple of major gripes. Firstly, he did not mean to offend her. Secondly, she did not tell him she was offended. Thirdly, he wants to be allowed to discuss fellatio with anyone is chooses.

Not meaning to offend someone is neither here nor there. An offender does not get to justify hir offense. An offender gets to apologise and to not repeat the words. Instead, Evans has created the biggest “I didn’t mean to” cry by casting his plea all over the internet. If he truly did not mean to offend, then he needs to learn what can cause offence and the university-imposed monitoring and counselling can only aid with his understanding.

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Ladies, stay young regardless of the recession

And it helps to be thin, able-bodied, mentally healthy, white and rich enough to afford all the youth-making treatments recommended by Orna Mulcahy in today's Irish Times. Here are a few snippets:

If the budget doesn’t stretch to that may I recommend an old remedy: a body brush ... will remove dead cells from the skin in a jiffy, while a whipped-up egg white, if allowed to set on the face for 15 minutes, will produce a surprisingly taut result,

That terrible photograph of Carla Bruni ... she looks all pale and weirdly frozen... she looks less like Carla, the free spirit, and more like the free spirit’s witchy mother.

But one thing that an older woman cannot do is look like a far younger woman, and that is her tragedy, particularly if her man likes far younger women.

The ideal woman for any man is half his age, plus seven years... Explain it to a man and you watch his face puzzle for a moment and then clear before giving in with a graceful smile... Your 40-year-old man realises that indeed it might be nicer to be with a 27-year-old rather than with someone his own age, who might be losing definition in all kinds of places.

[Sam Mendes]’s trading Kate [Winslet] in for a younger model, to be perfectly blunt and horrible about it.

Scientists have established that men seek out women with clear skin and shiny hair, two attributes of a healthy body, ie one that can still bear a child.

Ok, Ok I quoted more than snippets. But I almost got a bingo on the evo psych card by Aerik.

I will resist the temptation to fisk the entire article. And just say that women are people. You cannot reduce a person to a shell. Staying young is impossible. Grasping at straws and using 'miracle' treatments to stave off age ultimately ends in failure. Women are always judged by their looks: whether fat or thin, tall or short, TAB or disabled, conventionally attractive, with or without body hair, piercing, tattoos etc.

I think that Mulcahy's article was meant to be tongue in cheek or "all us girls together" but fails. Being a humourless feminist I wouldn't laugh anyway, on principle! Women are not a monolith. Amazingly, some women are attracted to other women; some women are not attracted to anyone; some women are attracted to younger men; some women opt out of participating in the patriarchal Olympics etc

Anyway, you can diet, botox, wax etc., but it is never enough. Is your vagina tight enough? Is your mons sparkly enough? Vajazzling takes care of the latter but the former requires surgery. Are your breasts big enough, small enough, perky enough...? Do you earn enough but not too much? Are you a free-spirit but not too opinionated? Do you wear revealing clothing but not look like a slut? It is never enough. It is never enough. The patriarchy will judge you and still find you wanting. Just look at the judgment leveled against Carla Bruni, considered to be one of the most beautiful women in the world.

Dear Anonymous

Have a look at the evo psych rape/sexism excuse bingo card by Aerik and then reevaluate.